“Do you know what I needed? I needed a father to teach me how to ride a bike. I needed someone to tell me I was pretty when I had teenage insecurities. I needed a father figure when the boys at school bullied me.” My voice softened, becoming more pained. “I needed to know that it was worth being loved by a father.”
I saw her eyes fill with tears, but I no longer cared about her pain.“It’s too late,” I continued. “You nurtured your absence for decades. Now reap what you sowed.”
—Please, I just need…
“Money? Care? Companionship?” I shook my head. “Go ask the people who’ve been there all these years. Oh, wait, there’s no one there, is there?”
I headed towards the door to close it for good.
—Carmen… —Her voice broke—. I just want a chance to get to know you.
I stopped dead in my tracks and turned towards him.
“Get to know me? I’m an accountant, I have two children, I’ve been married for twelve years to a good man who knows what it means to be a father. I like strong coffee, I read novels on Sundays, and I’m a terrible cook. I had nightmares until I was fifteen, wondering what I’d done wrong for my father not to love me.” I paused. “There you have it. You know me now. Is that what you wanted?”-I…
—No. What you want is money for your last days. But you know what? The last days are earned with the first days, and you weren’t there for any of mine.
Finally, I closed the door. I leaned against it, listening to his footsteps slowly receding.
Through the window, I watched him get into a beat-up taxi. When he disappeared from sight, I allowed myself to cry. Not for him, but for the little girl I once was, who had finally found the words she’d always wanted to say to him.
